...nothing really if you’re in the realm of the Ig Nobel Awards! Read on for a 99% guaranteed “ROFLMAO” time
Those of you who have not heard of the “IgNobel” Awards are missing out on one of the most entertaining and hilarious things in life. So allow me to enlighten you!
Imagine what would happen if the Nobels got really drunk or inhaled laughing gas. Well, they’d become the Ig Nobels (more fondly known as the Igs)! The Igs are awarded for research projects that “first make people laugh, and then make them think”. Ten projects from diverse categories receive the Igs annually at Harvard’s Sanders Theatre from actual Nobel laureates. And *cough* an ex-PM of Singapore *cough* got the 1994 *cough* Psychology Ig *cough*.
After a few sleepless and highly troubled nights spent contemplating, I present to you my top 3 Igs of all time:
1. 2001 Astrophysics- Awarded to Dr. Jack and Rexella Van Impe of Jack Van Impe Ministries, Rochester Hills, Michigan, for their discovery that black holes fulfil all the technical requirements to be the location of Hell.
At last all us sinners know where we’re headed to! And scientists no longer need to worry about why black holes exist. Phew.
2. 2009 Public Health- Dr. Elena Bodnar received the Ig for her patented invention: “a brassiere that, in an emergency, can be quickly converted into a pair of protective face masks.”
Who’d have though lingerie could save your life?! Now the WHO knows how to prepare for a pandemic, especially when vaccinations for diseases are unavailable or do not exist!
3. 2005 Economics- Gauri Nanda of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for inventing an alarm clock that runs away and hides, repeatedly, thus ensuring that people DO get out of bed, and thus theoretically adding many productive hours to the workday. Or in our case, ensuring that people get to early morning lectures and tutorials instead of sleeping through them!
While the Igs have certainly recognised some stupendous achievements such as discovering that human beings swim with the same speed in both syrup and water and that cows with names give more milk than those without, they’ve missed out on a few crucial people. So here’s my list of nominations for the 2010 Igs...
Public Health –Mark Zuckerberg
For developing a medium for people to keep in touch with everybody without talking to or seeing them. Facebook allows one to be friends with people they would otherwise find irritating, thus reducing the incidence of psychosis. Status updates warn people to steer clear of those in bad moods, preventing temper flares and decreasing the risk of hypertension. Carpal Tunnel and backaches are a small price to pay in return.
Linguistics-Ex-President George W. Bush’s speechwriters
For their earth shattering idea to “rename” global warming “Global Climate Change”. (Really. In every single one of the President’s speeches.) I’m sure the melting Arctic ice appreciates it!
And finally....
Public Service – Jimmy Wales
For giving us Wikipedia. How else would we complete our assignments and find an avenue to unleash our inner grammar nazi? (Yes, I openly admit to doing the latter. Its therapeutic!)
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